


lay down my heart

by shattered stars (hollowlove)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Light Angst, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9870176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollowlove/pseuds/shattered%20stars
Summary: Jihoon's not in love, but he thinks he could be.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I like to make myself sad @ 3am.

He thinks it's bittersweet how easy it is for her to mention his name during public broadcasts. It’s harder for him. It’s harder to hide the affection and awe that he has for her, particularly when the tips of his ears flush pink whenever her name is brought up in a casual conversation. It had caught him off guard the first time she had mentioned him on live radio. He had dropped his spoon onto the table with a clatter, drawing the attention of his leader who met his gaze with a knowing look. Seungcheol never mentioned it, letting the incident pass with a comforting squeeze on his shoulder as Jihoon tried his best to ignore his heartbeat that echoed loudly in his ears.

He’s not in love with her, but he thinks he could be if given the chance. He could love her if they weren’t constantly being scrutinized by the public. If they weren’t busy with albums, promotions, and tours. If they both lived a different life. A simpler life. One without the fame and rules. It’d be easy, he thinks, to love her for there are many qualities about her to love. He loves the power of her voice when she sings, the confidence in which she carries herself with, and how her face softens the second she steps off the stage. He loves how calm she is on the phone at two in the morning when he can’t get _this one final line_ perfect, and how she talks him down from his moments of frustration and irritation. He loves when she shushes him with a quick laugh, and tells him that she’s proud of how far he has come. She’s a goddess in the industry, with a dedicated following and respect to her name. She’s _someone_ , and he’s just Woozi of the new rookie group Seventeen. 

She’s _fond_ of him. 

And that is what makes the situation even more precarious. 

She’s fond of their easy friendship and compatibility. She’s fond of how dedicated and hardworking he is. She’s fond of the beautiful music that he composes. That fondness she has for him makes everything harder. It makes it harder for him to let go of something that will never happen. What can never happen. He’s never been much of an optimist, just simply a hard worker, but there’s something about her that makes him want to believe in a brighter future. A future that is so far out of his reach that he couldn’t grasp it even if he tried. He’s accepted that. He knows that whatever he feels for her is irrelevant and nothing with come of it. What he feels must be pushed down, and locked away out of sight. He doesn’t own himself. 

No, he belongs to Seventeen. To the company. _To the fans._

Everything he has hidden inside spills out onto blank paper. The loneliness. The desire. The loss. The freedom. The love. The blood, sweat, and tears that he has poured into training is transformed into melodies that are given to his _family._ They have worked so hard for the chance to prove their talent to the world, and Jihoon is determined to see it through. With the added pressure of _raising_ this team from the ground he doesn’t have time to wonder about the “what if’s” or alternate universes. There is only the present and Jihoon is fine with that.

He focuses on what he has and he thinks that _maybe_ it will be enough.


End file.
